12 Steps for Recovering Workaholics

Hi, I'm Stephanie, and I'm a workaholic.  It's been 6 months since my last workaholic episode. I'm actually a recovering workaholic. 

I will always work hard and create work that I'm proud to put my name on, but what I've learned is that if I work all the time, the quality of my work suffers, I have a "baditude", I'm tough to be around, and I neglect everything else in my life that's important to me.  In my recovery, I focus on creating space for work AND for my relationships and health.

Here are 12 steps every recovering workaholic should follow:

1. Schedule Time for Family & Friends

If you don't schedule it, it isn't real and you probably won't make time for it.  Make this time quality time - put down the phone and savor the experiences with the people you love.

2. Do What You Say You're Going to Do

Follow through on your commitments, both work and personal.  If you make a date with a friend, don't bail to "work late".  If you have a deadline, see it through.  Enough said.  (Note: Over committing yourself goes hand in hand with this - see #9 below)

3. Take Care of Yourself

Take time to recharge your batteries.  Get a massage, spend 10 minutes in meditation, grab coffee with a friend - whatever feeds your soul, make a habit of doing it often.

4. Sleep Tight

Aim for 8 hours of sleep a night and stick to a consistent bedtime and wake time schedule.

5. Learn to Prioritize

Identify the roles in your life that are important to you (example: employee, wife, mother, student, volunteer, mentor, etc.) - select no more than 5 roles.  Create a role statement for each role: As (role), I will (extraordinary/high impact outcome) through (activities).  Align your day-to-day with these role statements so you're always doing the things that are important to you.

6. Take Time Off

Working 24/7 only leads to you being drained and ineffective.  Take at least 1 day a week off, every week.  Disconnecting at night is really valuable too - commit to several nights a week off, if you can't do every night.

7. Redefine Success

What does success REALLY mean to you?  Get really specific - what does it feel like?  What does it look like?  It’s okay to want a prestigious job, a family, a white-picket fence around a big house, and a flashy car.  It’s also okay to NOT want those things.  Put your time and energy toward what’s important TO YOU.

8. Take Breaks

Research suggests that working long hours DECREASES productivity.  Schedule time away from your desk during the workday.  Even 5 or 10 minute breaks work wonders to refresh and provide renewed mental clarity, making your work even better.

9. Set Clear Expectations

Stepping back may require a heart to heart with your boss, coworkers, and the important people in your life.  Set clear work hours, reasonable deadlines, and realistic commitments. Don't overcommit yourself.  If these conversations are tough, reiterate that burnt out = ineffective, and you are still committed to doing a kick ass job.

10. Delegate!

Remember you don't have to do it all yourself.  Ask for help from coworkers or hire out tasks to free up your time.

11. Find hobbies

Fill the gaps that you used to spend working with fun hobbies - take up running, read a novel, become a wine aficionado - whatever keeps you happy and engaged.

12. Laugh

Stop being so gosh-darn serious all the time.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  It makes you pretty dull, too.

Are you a recovering workaholic?  What step SCREAMS at you to implement?

I Don't Have a Weight Loss Story

Clients often come to me for help with weight loss.  I don't "do" weight loss.  It just happens to be a benefit of the work that I do.   Weight is a symptom that there is an imbalance in your life related to your "primary food" - surrounding yourself with authentic and heart-warming people, finding ways to be active, doing work you love.

"Food is more than what you find on your plate.  [Primary food] can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life. When primary food is balanced and satiated, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary...When we use secondary food as a way to alleviate or suppress our hunger for primary food, the body and mind suffer. Weight gain is just one of the consequences."

Let me tell you a story...not a weight loss story, a stress loss story.

When I was in the thick of a miserable existence, I was using all my energy (and most of the hours in my day) at work.  The last year at that job, I literally dragged myself out of bed every day, totally spent from the day before, just to head back to the gray cubicle that I'd grown more and more resentful of.  I let my 6-year relationship with the man who would eventually become my husband, THE most important relationship in my life, become secondary.  I ate whatever quick meals I could grab and go with, or I didn't eat at all.  When I was exhausted in the middle of the day, I headed to Starbucks to throw my hard-earned money at a triple shot (or quad if it was one of THOSE days) latte.  When I got home, the first thing I did was pour a glass (or four) of wine, before logging back in to work.  Eventually, I'd settle in to a restless night, just to wake up and do it all over again.

At the same time as this job was totally draining me, I was also deeply engaged in the work that I was doing, and I was f'ing good at it, too.  I still don't quite understand how I could love and resent something at the same time, but that's what it was.  Leaving felt like admitting defeat; staying felt worse every single day.

I was a mess.  I couldn't see it, but my primary food was TOTALLY out of whack and the symptoms were all there:

-A disgruntled attitude and accompanying constant stream of expletives coming from my cube -Binge drinking several nights a week - an escape from the drudgery of my everyday life -Constantly dipping energy levels, only fixed with multiple shots of espresso -Trouble sleeping through the night and waking up feeling drained -An emotional and physical disconnect from my husband; and -A reciprocal emotional and obsessive connection with my work

It was bad... but it didn't seem to be quite bad enough for me to quit.  Honestly, if I hadn't had the eye-opening experience where I realized I was totally replaceable, I might still be in that job.  I'd be single, have put on 20+ pounds, and get about 5 hours of sleep a night (if I was lucky).  

It was incredibly hard, but I did leave.  And something amazing happened as a result: I started to take care of ME.  I started running and got serious about my yoga practice; I even went so far as to go to yoga teacher training.  I spent more time with my husband - quality time, not "bitch about lazy coworkers" time.  I cooked more and ate lots and lots of vegetables.  I went on a hunt for work I loved (and I found it!).  Once I started to do the hard work of getting my primary food in order, the stress melted off of me - slowly at first, but compounding over time.

It happens like that with weight, too; when you start to do the hard work of creating a life you love, the rest starts to fall in to place.

It's not easy.  It's not always fast.  It's hard to walk away from things that don't serve us.  It's tough to take a step back.  But, it's also revolutionary, and empowering, and beautiful - and, as a personal coach, I'm here for you every step of the way. 

Feel Refreshed (not drained) this Holiday Season

So, how many photos of Starbucks holiday cups have you seen on Facebook and Instagram this week? I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen about 20.

Starbucks, I’ve seen your cups and hear your message loud and clear: The holiday season is here.

So many of us use the holiday season to kick back and indulge because, HELL, we’ve worked hard this year.  And you know what, you DO deserve to indulge and have a blast (not JUST during the holidays, but that’s a discussion for another day...).

But, what you don’t deserve is packing on a couple pounds in as many months OR completely overloading your body on sugar and booze OR day-long holiday shopping sessions fueled by Diet Coke and Annie’s pretzels. 

Let’s make this year different.  What do you say?

Join me for my 5 day Holiday Refresh from December 2^nd to December 6^th

(conveniently scheduled right after Thanksgiving, so you can kick that post-turkey bloat to the curb!)

You’ll get all the support you need to help you:

• Slash cravings for sugar and carbs
• Reduce bloating
• Lose a few pounds
• Have more energy and wake up REFRESHED every day

So you look and FEEL outstanding this holiday season (and rock that hot little black dress you bought for office holiday party!)

Here’s what’s included in the Refresh:

• 5 days of done-for-you Refresh meal plans & a companion Shopping List ($199 value)
• 5 days of Shakeology ($25 value)
• Daily email support from me, your coach and cheerleader ($50 value)
• Access to an exclusive, members only, online support group ($99 value)
• PLUS a personal 50-minute Breakthrough session ($175 value)

The cost? Only $49 USD!

Ready to get started? You must register by 4 pm EST on 11/22! Click below to register!

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Any questions?  Email me (I promise to respond within 2 business days)

The Fine Print

• Registration closes Friday, November 15th at 5pm EST
• All purchases are final; No refunds or exchanges
• All Breakthrough Sessions must be scheduled by 4/1/2014

The Best Tool I've Found to Combat Overwhelm

For a long time (somewhere on the order of 31 years...) I’ve felt like I live in a constant state of overwhelm.   Even when I’m exercising my right to say no, my high aspirations, big dreams, and general interest in learning and experimentation, I still say yes more often than I say no.  This can make managing my schedule pretty challenging and has led to many late nights and long weekends STILL working, connecting, dreaming. Until...

I realized I was falling back into the same old cycle that burnt me out before

I recognized what my true priorities are (and they just so happen to NOT include

I learned the hard way that Rome wasn’t built in a day (or a week, or a month)

I acknowledged that I couldn’t possibly work with women to help them tackle overwhelm until I got a handle on my own.

So, I spent a lot of time reading, learning, planning, failing, re-imagining, and tweaking until I found a system that worked for me – without fail.  And that system includes a little one-page wonder I affectionately and super-creatively call my Weekly Tracking Worksheet.  This is, hands down,  the best tool I've found to combat overwhelm.

combat overwhelm

The key elements of the tracker include:

• The Daily Top 3: These are the three – ALWAYS only 3 - MUST DO important, but not urgent (refer to the Time Matrix video for more info), activities that I must complete that day
• Separate line items for PLAY with family and friends, FITness, SELF-care, and a daily PUSH goal (note: These are sometimes empty depending on the day, but they remind me to schedule this stuff)
• Space for reflection (I try to review and re-plan for 10 minutes at the end of every day)
• Keeping my priorities and big goals front and center

To get the worksheet, shoot me an email and I’ll send you a copy.

Why Nutrition is Foundational to Lifestyle Coaching (and anarchistic!)

What if I described myself not as a health coach or a lifestyle coach, but as a health and lifestyle anarchist?

“The philosophy of anarchy lies in empowering people to take control of their own lives and not on having others having power of them.” – James Cox

Maybe it’s time for a title change?

As a health and wellness anarchist, my mission is to help women TAKE CONTROL of their lives (not necessarily to rise up against “the man”, but, hey, who knows!).

Describing myself as a health coach is a) so damn vanilla it hurts and b) a serious misrepresentation of what I do.   Can I get a show of hands for how many of you think I focus solely on nutrition and weight loss?

As my business continues to evolve, so has my philosophy on the work I do.  I am LIFESTYLE focused; someone who builds a foundation with nutrition, but then works with you to take control of the rest of your life – all that really important stuff like your career, your relationships, yourself, just to name a few.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s definitely an advantage to focusing on nutrition first... as a “grown-up”, you are absolutely, 100%, in control of what you eat.  Just let that sink in for a second...

You are absolutely, 100%, in control of what you eat.

That’s the essence of why I consider nutrition foundational to my work.

If you’re saying to yourself anything like: “But my family eats X”, “my company takes me out to lunch on Fridays”, or “my friends love to meet up at Denny’s for breakfast”, these are EXCUSES.  You’ll never be able to take control of anything if you continue to live under the shadow of these excuses.  So, CUT. IT. OUT.

full house

Seriously, though, if you want to stay in the “safe” world of excuses, it’s probably OK to stop reading now.  But, if you’re committed to giving up those excuses, I’ve got some tips to help you stay on track.

1.    Food is Fuel

Reframe your thoughts on food.  For many of us, food is a social tool, an emotional outlet, a feel-good drug.  It’s time to let that go.  Food is fuel for your body to support you in everything you do.   That’s it.

2.    Know Your Why

Why do you want to be healthy?  Be honest.  It’s okay to want to fit into a size 4 (or 6 or 8) or to look hot in a bathing suit for your upcoming cruise.  Or maybe you just want more energy to make it through your day without reaching for the RedBull.  Do you want to live to be a 100 or to set a good example for your kids/grandkids/spouse/friends?  Whatever it is, get CLEAR on it and remind yourself of it DAILY.  Staying true to your why will help you stay on track.

3.    Give Yourself Wiggle Room

Clean eating is NOT ALL OR NOTHING.  I would never tell you that you CAN’T have something.  If you want a jelly donut, have it.  Don’t feel guilty about it.  Then, get back to business.

4.    Be Prepared

It’s so easy for all of us to get stuck in that excuse trap, especially when it involves social situations.   Be prepared with a response to the conversations and the questions so you don’t get suckered into doing something you don’t want to.  It’s also a great idea to review a menu and decide what you’ll order before you get there, so you don’t even have to crack the menu and risk getting off track.

5.    Keep it Fresh

fresh prince

Whoops - not that kind of fresh!

Experiment with new recipes and new foods regularly.  Commit to trying 1 new recipe or 1 new food a week – it’s really as easy as that.  If I hadn’t done this myself, I’d have never fallen head over heels for b. sprouts or learned how easy and versatile quinoa can be.

Now I want to hear from you.  What’s one step you will make to take control of food?

The Day I Realized I Was Just a Number

You may have read my story already, but today I'm blowing the doors off and letting you see why I'm REALLY here doing what I do.  This is my story of getting lost in Corporate America.   This story is hard for me to tell... it breaks my heart EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.  Even years later.  But I realize it's also helped me to grow in ways I could never have imagined possible.  And learning to take control of MY STORY has actually renewed my faith in Corporate America. 

You stop being a number when you take the reigns of your own story.

Are you taking control?

6 Techniques for Creating Good Habits

I recently started reading Darren Hardy's "The Compound Effect". This book is all about taking small actions, making positive changes, and creating good habits consistently that will compound into big things over time. On the flip side, there's the case where you're making small actions (or inactions) that are taking you in the opposite direction. So many of us get stuck there... and end up stagnant in our work, at home, in relationships, you name it. If you're feeling stuck, its time to make some changes, and my new 5-week online Bootcamp may be just the thing you need to get started. The fact of the matter is, most of us are not EXACTLY where we want to be, although maybe we're on our way. A big part of the equation is crowding out the bad habits with good ones.

Darren provides the following 6 Techniques for Creating Good Habits:

1. Set Yourself Up to Succeed

This is probably the easiest place to get stuck - not setting yourself up to succeed.

"Any good habit has to work inside your life and lifestyle."

What is it that you're trying to accomplish and what in your life is holding you back? If you're trying to eat healthy, but that 3 pm sugar craving has you running for the vending machine, stock up with some healthy snacks, instead. If you want to work out more often, but find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, get up a half hour earlier and get a quick workout in (trust me, this WORKS!).

2. Think Addition, Not Subtraction

Instead of focusing on the negative, the things you're giving up, the things you can't have, turn your focus toward the things you can have. I have a friend who, within the last year, completely changed her diet due to a medical condition. Instead of wallowing in the fact that she couldn't enjoy some of her favorite foods, she opted to focus her energy on creating healthier versions of those meals and savoring every delicious morsel.

3. Go for a PDA: Public Display of Accountability

I think we can all acknowledge that staying accountable just to ourselves is pretty darn tough. We're too easy on ourselves. Find a bigger, broader way to be accountable - whether it's sharing on social media, telling your friends and family, or hanging up a big ol' sign in your cubicle at work (this is one of Darren's best examples).

4. Find a Success Buddy

Take accountability to the next level by pairing up with someone who has similar goals and can keep you on point. Agree to meet regularly (phone, email, skype, whatever works) to hold each other accountable, share successes, failures, and aha's, and keep each other pushing further and further forward.

5. Competition & Camaraderie

Let's be honest, we all love a little friendly competition. I mean, who doesn't love winning? So, if you're working towards creating a new habit, loop in some other people with the same objectives and make a game of it. You'd be surprised how much faster and harder you'll push just to beat out Kelly from HR.

6. Celebrate!

It can be easy to get wrapped up in work, or in unconscious, unproductive zoning to combat hard work (case in point, a few months ago I posted about my embarrassing addiction to TV. It's an action I have been working to consciously change and with Darren's tips, I'm making serious strides), but the healthier way to deal is to celebrate each success.

"You've got to find little rewards to give yourself every month, every week, every day - even something small to acknowledge that you've held yourself to a new behavior."

Change is hard and celebration is absolutely deserved, so let your hair down and enjoy it once in awhile!

I strongly encourage you to pick up this book. It's affordable, short, relatable, AND actionable, and I can almost guarantee that you'll be inspired to make positive changes in your life.

For me, I'm focusing more on my time management. I actually consider myself to be pretty darn good at managing my time, with everything I've got going on, but I know I can be doing even better. Now, I want to hear from YOU, what positive habit do you want to create in your life?

5 Signs You Should Leave Your Job

If you’ve read my story, or ever talked to some of my friends and family, you’ll know the one thing I happen to be really good at is changing jobs (check out my job history here).  It’s not that I’m restless… it’s just that I don’t believe in being unhappy.  If you are not happy, there is an opportunity to make changes. Now, I’m not saying to go out and quit your job tomorrow (although wouldn’t that be nice!) or that corporate jobs are BAD, BAD, BAD (they’re not – I have one that’s just fine).  What I am saying is that if any one of these 5 signs you should leave your job resonates with you, it’s time to reevaluate your career and to make a plan to move forward.

1. You dread going to work everyday

This is a no brainer.  Sure, all of us have days where we’re just not feeling our jobs… but when those days turn into EVERY DAY, it’s time to move on.  Do you dread getting up every morning knowing where you’re headed?  Do you show up later and later all the time?  It’s time, friend.

2. Your heart’s not in it

Having a career that you love – one that challenges, pushes, and inspires you – is a major part of living your best life.  If you work a 40-hour work week, you’re spending 35% of your waking hours each week at work (not counting any commuting time or extra hours).  Don’t you want to spend that 35% of your time doing something you love?

3. You feel taken advantage of

Someone once said to me, “You set the expectations people have for you within your first few weeks at a job.”  If you’re dedicated and hardworking, I’m positive you let that shine through during those opening months, but many times that means you’re the go-to person, putting in long hours, saying “yes” too often, doing whatever you can to make it work.  What happens when you decide you need balance? 

In my experience, I’ve found that it is very hard to change those perceptions after they’ve been established and reinforced by your actions.  You’re stuck in that role as if your feet are stuck in cement blocks.  And often, there are negative repercussions to scaling back – you may be viewed as lazy or not-committed, even though you’ve gone above and beyond for a long time.  Often, it’s just easier to start over and set the expectations from the start.

4. You want to develop new skillsets

As I mentioned before, your work should challenge you and I believe you should always be presented with opportunities to grow professionally.  It’s also becoming more and more valued to have a varied skillset, as technology and management direction can sometimes change on a dime.  If your job isn’t creating growth opportunities for you, it’s time to move on. Sidenote: Sure, you could do this on your own, as well, but your company will directly benefit from your growth, so shouldn’t they shoulder some of the burden as well?

Even if you don’t necessarily want to grow and be challenged, there’s also something to be said for doing the same job at different companies.  Different processes, different cultures, different people all contribute to a completely different experience, one with its own set of unique challenges.

5. You find yourself continually saying, “I’ll leave this job when…”

This is something I keep hearing from friends.  All different friends, in all different industries (but all women).  Most often the when is “when I have kids” but I’ve also heard “when I finish this project”, “when I get through this month”, and “when my husband earns more money”, amongst others. 

Women are more likely to stay in a job longer than men, even when it’s clearly time to move on.  I have to ask, what are we waiting for?  Are we really okay with being unhappy until that when scenario actually happens, IF it happens?  Why not take action now and do something that makes us happy, even if it’s only for a short while?

If while you were reading this you thought, “Yes… this is totally me, but I’m scared to move”, you’re in the right place.  Changing isn’t easy, whether it’s a job, a bad habit, or sometimes even just out of your pajamas. 

If you’re nervous or scared, that’s what I’m here for and one of the main reasons that I created my Lifestyle Design coaching.  I’ve been through this process [several times] and am finally in the right place.  I’m here to share everything I’ve learned and walk you through this process step by step so you come out on top.

5 Home Remedies for Muscle Soreness

No matter where you're at in your fitness journey, muscle soreness is bound to happen.  Instead of reaching for over the counter drugs, try one of my favorite home remedies for muscle soreness.

1. Coffee

Research at the University of Georgia suggests that drinking coffee prior to working out can reduce muscle soreness and fatigue by up to half. This is due to the blocking of adenosine, a chemical released by your body in response to injury. Be careful not to overdo it on the coffee, as too much caffeine can cause muscle spasms; two cups of coffee is recommended. And, with your cup(s) of joe, you’ve also got the added bonus of the well-documented caffeine endurance boost.

2. Magnesium

Magnesium, the primary component of epsom salts, is essential for healthy muscles and is a natural muscle relaxant. Absorption through the skin, via epsom salt baths, is more effective than taking an oral supplement, but eating foods high in magnesium, such as dark leafy greens, squash and pumpkin seeds, halibut, soy beans, and brown rice can also support reduced muscle soreness.

3. Tart Cherry Juice

A 2010 study published in the Scandinavian Journal of Medicine and Science in Sport identified antioxidant compounds called anthocyanins in tart cherries that are believed to work by reducing inflammation. Add the juice to a post-workout recovery drink to get the most bang for your buck. I like Trader Joe’s brand. Bonus: tart cherry juice has been found to have more antioxidants than the popular superfood pomegranate and may also help to improve sleep quality.

4. Apple Cider Vinegar

Among its many talents, apple cider vinegar is touted as a muscle reliever. ACV draws lactic acid out of muscles. If you can get beyond the smell, saturate a cloth with ACV and wrap it around the muscle for 20 minutes. Repeat every three to four hours for continued relief until the pain is gone for good.

5. Foam Rolling

Foam rolling uses a technique called self-myofascial release, which uses pressure and targeted massage to help prevent scarring of the connective tissue between your muscles (the fascia). You can pick up your own foam roller at a sporting goods store, Marshall’s/TJ Maxx, or Amazon (because you can buy anything on Amazon).

Do you have any favorite home remedies?  Share them in the comments.

33 for 33: My Goals for the next 18 months

A few weeks ago, a fellow health coach posted the 30 things she planned to do before she turned 30.  As I often find with my "tribe" of coach friends, I was inspired and motivated by her list and I wanted to create my own.  The 30 mark has come and gone for me (without much fanfare), but since my "half birthday" just so happened to pass a few weeks ago, I decided to create a list of "33 for 33" - the 33 goals I want to complete in the next 18 months.  There are lots of business goals on here, but life isn't all about work - so I'm also setting specific objectives for my mind, body, and soul.

Business

1. Match my corporate income through my coaching business
2. Write an eBook and publish it on Amazon
3. Be published 5x on notable blogs
4. Go 5-star diamond with my Beachbody business
5. Launch the Lifestyle Design Bootcamp, a 5-week online coaching program, in October 2013
6. Become a Certified Personal Trainer
7. Start and Finish B-School
8. Enroll in IIN’s Immersion Program
9. Launch my Beachbody Income Tracker
10. Attend Franklin Covey’s Productivity training
11. Throw or attend 5 coaching related events
12. Limit work to 6 days a week MAX

Mind

1. Re-engage in my meditation practice (at least 10 minutes/day)
2. Minimum of 10 minutes of professional development reading daily
3. Say NO more often
4. Unplug – At night and on weekends

Body

1. Lift heavier weights (I have specific goals here but don’t want to list them all out)
2. Juice more
3. Complete Beachbody’s Ultimate Reset with my husband
4. Run a half marathon in under 2 hours
5. Be able to do at least 1 unassisted pull up

Play

1. Read 1 leisure book a month
2. Watch less TV
3. Commit to monthly date night
4. Go to the movies more
5. Play my banjo
6. Have more social play dates

Home

1. Redesign our bathroom and evaluate adding a half bath
2. Build a vertical garden in my yard (and keep it alive!)
3. Create a functional office space

Travel

1. Travel to Hawaii with my parents for Christmas 2014
2. Go on a yoga retreat (local or international)
3. Go on a solo vacation with my husband

Now, I want to hear from you.  What are you working towards?