You Need an NBA Team

My friend “Bill” had what he called a basketball team: a harem of 5 women available at his beck and call.  Bill was a bit of a womanizer. I think "Bill" also had a couple of benchwarmers.  Bill was also kind of a dog.

You should have a basketball team, too.

Not the 2:30 am booty call kind.  C’mon, I give you WAY more credit than that. 

You need these 5 people to push you toward living a life you love.  Here’s your starting line-up:

1. Point Guard: Your point guard DOES NOT get caught down in the weeds with you.  Instead, they’re great at seeing the big picture and visualizing the future.  They help you keep your “eye on the prize”. 
2. Shooting Guard: Quick on the trigger, your shooting guard hates your indecision.  They push you to keep moving forward by taking shots and course-correcting when necessary.
3. Small Forward: This little powerhouse is your biggest supporter.  The “man’s best friend” of basketball, the small forward is always by your side and committed to your cause.
4. Power Forward: The power forward’s motto: “Do what you say you are going to do.”  They make you accountable and what let you forget your goals.  They’re constantly checking your progress and measure your success by the moves you make.
5. Center: Your center does just that: keeps you centered.  When the shit is hitting the fan, they’re there with you right in the thick of it, reminding you why you’re there in the first place.

Who are these people and where do you find them?  They could be anyone: the girl you see next to you on the treadmill, your boss, your mom, your man, your favorite lifestyle coach (had to!), a writer you totally dig. 

It doesn’t need to be any one you know and you don’t even ever have to tell them they’re playing for you.

Who’s on your team?  Tell me in the comments.

5 Tips for Succeeding at Life (because resolutions suck)

Resolutions suck. For real.

Less than 8% of people actually follow through with resolutions.

Are you surprised?

Me either.

Here’s the thing: resolutions are fleeting.

How about instead of setting resolutions, we just RESOLVE to CREATE LASTING LIFESTYLE CHANGE (or revolt and eat all the jelly beans... whatever.)

new years resolution

Here are 5 of my best tips to always be successful at LIFE, no matter what you’re up to:

1. Be a student

The most successful people I’ve ever met (myself included, of course) seek out opportunities to learn. And not just from their daily experiences, although that’s part of it.

Become an avid reader. Attend a seminar. Take a class. Seek knowledge.

2. Limit distractions

If you’re read my eBook, you know that I think multi-tasking is a joke. It’s old news, folks!

But did you know this: according to a study conducted by Michigan State University, interruptions as short as 3 seconds DOUBLE errors.

So every time you pick up your phone to answer a text, or check in on your Twitter feed, or chat online with a coworker, your potential for success decreases dramatically.

My quick fix suggestions: turn off email notifications, log off of instant messenger, check email and social media on a fixed schedule.

3. Be accountable

We’ve all heard this before – but how often do we actually take action?

Tell someone (ANYONE!) your goals – a spouse, friend, coach, your dog... no, don’t tell your dog... tell someone who has the ability to ask: Hey, have you paid off your credit card bill yet? Have you told your boss that you want to work part-time? Have you started planning your big family vacation?

4. Start where you're at

Let’s get cliche for a second – Rome wasn’t built in a day.

And the masterpiece that is you – as wonderful as you already are – wasn’t either. Growth, transformation, success... it’s a PROCESS.

It takes time to get from point A to B (or C or D or L). And no one’s jumping from D straight to L – first you go to E, then F... you get the point.

Meet yourself where you’re at – alphabetically or otherwise. Make the next logical step, from D to E, and move on from there.

5. Be generous

You know what feels GOOD? Being nice to people.

There’s something about sharing what you’ve got goin’ on that really elevates your whole mood, your whole world.

It doesn’t even need to cost anything: send a note, give a phone call, open a door – small gestures of generosity speak volumes and come back in spades.

This week’s challenge: Perform a selfless act of generosity. Tell me what you did and how you FEEL in the comments.

Well, THIS SUCKS!

Have you heard of the Vacuum Law?

The Vacuum Law

The Vacuum Law states that you have to make room in your life for the new by getting rid of the old.  Whenever a space is cleared, the Universe rushes to fill that space.

Sounds simple, right?

But it can be surprisingly hard. 

Let's do a little digging... what've you got hanging around?

Are those 14 ["you can totally where this again!"] bridesmaids dresses hanging in your closet?

And, wait, is that a box of your favorite stuffed animals (from when you were 7)?

And some jewelry or - gasp - a MIX TAPE from an ex-boyfriend?  (How the hell are you even going to listen to that tape, aside from taking a time machine back to 1995?)

That pair of shoes you wore exactly ONCE; you know, the ones that aren't even remotely comfortable, but that you MIGHT wear again someday?

Jeez, it's kinda creepy... it's like I'm IN your house.  (I'm not – scouts honor!)

It's not just THINGS that we're all holding on to. What about:

A "comfortable" relationship with a guy you're just not that into?  (yep, that works BOTH ways!)

Feeling like the odd-[wo]man-out when friends and family just don't "get" you?

Negative thoughts about your "lazy" coworkers or "unsupportive" boss?

Seemingly never-ending piles of money owed to Sallie Mae (and a maxed out credit card that paid for all those bridesmaid’s dresses)?

Coulda-woulda-shoulda's from your past (all those things you wish you'd done)?

The list goes on and on… but I think you get the drift.

The Challenge

I'm fully invested in kicking some ass in 2014 - what about you? 

create space

In preparation for all the things you want to bring into your life, I challenge you to create a totally suck-tastic vacuum and let something go.

Big or small - let it loose and see what comes back.  Share your liberation in the comments.

Goals with Soul: Starting 2014 Differently

Have you ever worked hard to accomplish something and then when you get it you just feel ‘blah’? So, then, you rush on to the next thing, thinking that was really what you needed all along... but, still, you feel unsatisfied, like something is missing?

“Constant racing for success creates habitual and unconscious goal-setting. We need to re-learn how to move toward our dreams — with the grace of trust, the grit of devotion, and the thrill of true presence.” -Danielle LaPorte

I often refer to myself as a classic over-achiever and that right there is me to a “T”. Once upon a time, I was pushing to prove myself in a way that caused me to completely lose track of who I was.

• I got a Master’s degree and a professional license and then left the engineering profession 6 months later.
• I completed a year of yoga teacher training and then decided I didn’t want to teach yoga.
• I worked 60- 80 hours a week at a job I was miserable at because I thought I needed a flashy title to be successful.

All the while, I was miserable, disconnected, and drained – NOT how I wanted to feel.

>>> Insert Danielle LaPorte<<<

I have a major girl-crush on Danielle. Her work The Firestarter Sessions literally changed my life. It LIT ME UP, challenged my thoughts on success, and helped me zero in on the life I wanted to live.

In FSS, Danielle introduces the idea of core desired feelings – DECIDING HOW YOU WANT TO FEEL FIRST and then setting your goals around FEELING THAT WAY. FEELING GOOD. Revo-fucking-lutionary.

But it doesn’t end there. Next, Danielle created the Desire Map – a complete system to IDENTIFY and CREATE ACTION around your core desired feelings.

This January, Desire Map bookclubs will meet up all over the world to desire, dream, and create goals with soul. For those in the Philadelphia area, I invite you to join my group (limited to 12 people). For out-of-towners, you can visit this site to find a bookclub near you.

How about starting 2014 differently? "All juice. No push. Feeling good is the goal. Check." -Danielle LaPorte

P90X3: It's an excuse killer.

I want to share a secret with you.

I owned P90X for 2.5 years before I ever tried a single workout.  While it sat collecting dust, I sat thinking there was no way I could ever do those workouts.  I was too scared to even try.

And when I finally did push play (which was freaking scary!) I made it a whopping 30 days before all my good intentions got pummeled by real life.  Sure, I'm a coach, and I love working out, but I'm a real person with a real life.  I KNOW how easy it is to get off track.  One day turns into 2, turns into 5, turns into 10, and then you're completely off your game.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

The sad truth is, most people who purchased P90X never make it the full 90 days.

There are two big complaints with P90X: it's too advanced for me and I don't have enough time to do 60-90 minute workouts 6 days a week.

I experienced them both FIRST HAND.  I GET IT.

Which is why I'm over the moon excited about P90X3... as I heard Tony Horton say this morning: "it's an excuse killer".  This program includes 16 TOTALLY NEW 30-minute workouts (including yoga and pilates!) and a back to basics, keep it simple meal plan.

Get the full details on the program and apply for my January 6th P90X3 Test Group here.

How to Rock Your Performance Review

That moment when the invite for your annual review hits your inbox… and dread sets in…

You know what I’m talking about, right?

Even for rockstar employees like yourself, annual reviews can leave a bad taste in your mouth, especially in a world of check boxes and ridiculous HR requirements. 

(Am I the only one here who’s worked at a company were you literally were not allowed to be ranked high on everything?  What kind of BS is that?!?!)

But there’s another side to annual reviews.  They provide an opportunity to celebrate your accomplishments and to demonstrate to your manager how you see your performance, your value, and your future.

Here are five tips to rock your performance review.

1. Get in the driver’s seat

One of the best pieces of career advancement advice I ever got was this:

“If you’re manager invites you to a meeting, never assume that he/she is running the meeting.  Always be prepared to take the ball and run with it.”

With performance reviews, this is even more critical.  You have a vested interest in the outcome of the meeting, so take charge of driving the conversation.

DO:Have talking points and questions ready.

DON’T:Be so stringent that your manager can’t get a word in edge-wise.

2. Decide what you really want (and deserve).

We all, invariably, want to earn more money.  But is this all what you really want?  (It’s ok if it is)

Think bigger picture here.  When you think of your career, what do you want to accomplish?  What do you want to be known for?  It might be a cross-functional training opportunity. It might be leadership development.  

Get clear on what you want: money, a promotion, a client-facing role, training opportunities, autonomy.

DO: Ask – clearly and concisely – for what you really want and be prepared with suggestions for how your manager can help you reach your goals.

DON’T:Be unreasonable.  Asking for a 20% raise when the average for your company is 4% is not only likely to be denied, but you’ll also be taken a lot less seriously for asking for it.

3. Power in Numbers

Look – your performance review is not an opportunity to bitch and complain, talk about how you feel, or lay out what you “think” you deserve.  It’s your (sometimes one and only) annual chance to prove your value.  Feelings and your personal sense of entitlement do not demonstrate the quality and merit of your performance.  Facts make your case.

DO: Have concrete details (and the numbers to back them up) about the contributions you’ve made to the company’s goals.  Be as thorough as possible.   

DON’T:Leave it to your manager to know what you accomplished this year.

4. Practice your delivery

A performance review is an inherently nerve-wracking situation; practice can help you feel cool, calm, and collected, even under stress.   Rehearse asking for and justifying what you want. It gets easier and more natural every time you say it out loud.  Also, practice consciously restraining from filling in all the dead space.  Give your manager time to contemplate and respond.

DO:Practice out loud (just like back in grade school when you had a big presentation)

DON’T:Wing it (unless you don’t really care if you get what you want)

5. Be Open to Criticism

News flash: you’re not perfect! (sorry to burst your bubble)

But, even if you were, there’s still an opportunity to be EVEN BETTER. 

Ask for feedback on your work.  Get specific details and ask clarifying questions if you need to.

DO:Use criticism as an opportunity to grow your skillset and advance your career.

DON’T:Get combative.  Picking a fight will not support your case that you’re a stellar employee.

So, are you ready to rock your performance review yet?  Go get ‘em, tiger.

rock your performance review

What to do with ALL THAT TURKEY?

Tired of the post-Thanksgiving obligatory turkey sandwiches and piles and piles of mashed potatoes? I rounded up some of the yummiest, most fun Thanksgiving leftover recipes on the internet.  

There is so much WINNING with this "recipe" - granted it's not a step by step guide, but it's a great inspiration.  Imagine, all your favorite Thanksgiving fixings wrapped up in a nice, warm burrito.  You can also take a tip from my favorite veggie burrito recipe and bake the burritos for a nice crispy touch.

I WANT THESE SWEET POTATO WAFFLES RIGHT NOW.  They are absolutely mouth-watering and I love the versatility in the ingredients - no dairy?  No problem!  Gluten free?  Got you covered!

I love the idea of sweet potato "buns" for this fun Paleo Turkey Sandwich recipe, and you know me, I'm pretty much sold on anything with brussels sprouts.  

This Israeli cous cous salad is something I'd make even without leftover turkey.  My stomach is growling just reading the recipe:

I was first introduced to tostadas just about a year ago... they're a bit tough to eat, but oh so yummy!  Check out this simple turkey tostada recipe.  You could even sub a fresh tomato for the canned ones here and eat this cold, majorly cutting down and the cooking time.  (PS- PLEASE ditch the canola oil!) 

There are few things easier than a stir-fry and the Asian-flare will have your leftovers feeling brand new.  Use whatever veggies you've got on hand for this one - you really can't lose.

For an interesting twist on a frittata, try this recipe for a Banger's and Mash style baked egg casserole. Happy THANKSGIVING, ya'll!

12 Steps for Recovering Workaholics

Hi, I'm Stephanie, and I'm a workaholic.  It's been 6 months since my last workaholic episode. I'm actually a recovering workaholic. 

I will always work hard and create work that I'm proud to put my name on, but what I've learned is that if I work all the time, the quality of my work suffers, I have a "baditude", I'm tough to be around, and I neglect everything else in my life that's important to me.  In my recovery, I focus on creating space for work AND for my relationships and health.

Here are 12 steps every recovering workaholic should follow:

1. Schedule Time for Family & Friends

If you don't schedule it, it isn't real and you probably won't make time for it.  Make this time quality time - put down the phone and savor the experiences with the people you love.

2. Do What You Say You're Going to Do

Follow through on your commitments, both work and personal.  If you make a date with a friend, don't bail to "work late".  If you have a deadline, see it through.  Enough said.  (Note: Over committing yourself goes hand in hand with this - see #9 below)

3. Take Care of Yourself

Take time to recharge your batteries.  Get a massage, spend 10 minutes in meditation, grab coffee with a friend - whatever feeds your soul, make a habit of doing it often.

4. Sleep Tight

Aim for 8 hours of sleep a night and stick to a consistent bedtime and wake time schedule.

5. Learn to Prioritize

Identify the roles in your life that are important to you (example: employee, wife, mother, student, volunteer, mentor, etc.) - select no more than 5 roles.  Create a role statement for each role: As (role), I will (extraordinary/high impact outcome) through (activities).  Align your day-to-day with these role statements so you're always doing the things that are important to you.

6. Take Time Off

Working 24/7 only leads to you being drained and ineffective.  Take at least 1 day a week off, every week.  Disconnecting at night is really valuable too - commit to several nights a week off, if you can't do every night.

7. Redefine Success

What does success REALLY mean to you?  Get really specific - what does it feel like?  What does it look like?  It’s okay to want a prestigious job, a family, a white-picket fence around a big house, and a flashy car.  It’s also okay to NOT want those things.  Put your time and energy toward what’s important TO YOU.

8. Take Breaks

Research suggests that working long hours DECREASES productivity.  Schedule time away from your desk during the workday.  Even 5 or 10 minute breaks work wonders to refresh and provide renewed mental clarity, making your work even better.

9. Set Clear Expectations

Stepping back may require a heart to heart with your boss, coworkers, and the important people in your life.  Set clear work hours, reasonable deadlines, and realistic commitments. Don't overcommit yourself.  If these conversations are tough, reiterate that burnt out = ineffective, and you are still committed to doing a kick ass job.

10. Delegate!

Remember you don't have to do it all yourself.  Ask for help from coworkers or hire out tasks to free up your time.

11. Find hobbies

Fill the gaps that you used to spend working with fun hobbies - take up running, read a novel, become a wine aficionado - whatever keeps you happy and engaged.

12. Laugh

Stop being so gosh-darn serious all the time.  All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.  It makes you pretty dull, too.

Are you a recovering workaholic?  What step SCREAMS at you to implement?

I Don't Have a Weight Loss Story

Clients often come to me for help with weight loss.  I don't "do" weight loss.  It just happens to be a benefit of the work that I do.   Weight is a symptom that there is an imbalance in your life related to your "primary food" - surrounding yourself with authentic and heart-warming people, finding ways to be active, doing work you love.

"Food is more than what you find on your plate.  [Primary food] can fill your soul and satisfy your hunger for life. When primary food is balanced and satiated, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary...When we use secondary food as a way to alleviate or suppress our hunger for primary food, the body and mind suffer. Weight gain is just one of the consequences."

Let me tell you a story...not a weight loss story, a stress loss story.

When I was in the thick of a miserable existence, I was using all my energy (and most of the hours in my day) at work.  The last year at that job, I literally dragged myself out of bed every day, totally spent from the day before, just to head back to the gray cubicle that I'd grown more and more resentful of.  I let my 6-year relationship with the man who would eventually become my husband, THE most important relationship in my life, become secondary.  I ate whatever quick meals I could grab and go with, or I didn't eat at all.  When I was exhausted in the middle of the day, I headed to Starbucks to throw my hard-earned money at a triple shot (or quad if it was one of THOSE days) latte.  When I got home, the first thing I did was pour a glass (or four) of wine, before logging back in to work.  Eventually, I'd settle in to a restless night, just to wake up and do it all over again.

At the same time as this job was totally draining me, I was also deeply engaged in the work that I was doing, and I was f'ing good at it, too.  I still don't quite understand how I could love and resent something at the same time, but that's what it was.  Leaving felt like admitting defeat; staying felt worse every single day.

I was a mess.  I couldn't see it, but my primary food was TOTALLY out of whack and the symptoms were all there:

-A disgruntled attitude and accompanying constant stream of expletives coming from my cube -Binge drinking several nights a week - an escape from the drudgery of my everyday life -Constantly dipping energy levels, only fixed with multiple shots of espresso -Trouble sleeping through the night and waking up feeling drained -An emotional and physical disconnect from my husband; and -A reciprocal emotional and obsessive connection with my work

It was bad... but it didn't seem to be quite bad enough for me to quit.  Honestly, if I hadn't had the eye-opening experience where I realized I was totally replaceable, I might still be in that job.  I'd be single, have put on 20+ pounds, and get about 5 hours of sleep a night (if I was lucky).  

It was incredibly hard, but I did leave.  And something amazing happened as a result: I started to take care of ME.  I started running and got serious about my yoga practice; I even went so far as to go to yoga teacher training.  I spent more time with my husband - quality time, not "bitch about lazy coworkers" time.  I cooked more and ate lots and lots of vegetables.  I went on a hunt for work I loved (and I found it!).  Once I started to do the hard work of getting my primary food in order, the stress melted off of me - slowly at first, but compounding over time.

It happens like that with weight, too; when you start to do the hard work of creating a life you love, the rest starts to fall in to place.

It's not easy.  It's not always fast.  It's hard to walk away from things that don't serve us.  It's tough to take a step back.  But, it's also revolutionary, and empowering, and beautiful - and, as a personal coach, I'm here for you every step of the way. 

Feel Refreshed (not drained) this Holiday Season

So, how many photos of Starbucks holiday cups have you seen on Facebook and Instagram this week? I’m pretty sure that I’ve seen about 20.

Starbucks, I’ve seen your cups and hear your message loud and clear: The holiday season is here.

So many of us use the holiday season to kick back and indulge because, HELL, we’ve worked hard this year.  And you know what, you DO deserve to indulge and have a blast (not JUST during the holidays, but that’s a discussion for another day...).

But, what you don’t deserve is packing on a couple pounds in as many months OR completely overloading your body on sugar and booze OR day-long holiday shopping sessions fueled by Diet Coke and Annie’s pretzels. 

Let’s make this year different.  What do you say?

Join me for my 5 day Holiday Refresh from December 2^nd to December 6^th

(conveniently scheduled right after Thanksgiving, so you can kick that post-turkey bloat to the curb!)

You’ll get all the support you need to help you:

• Slash cravings for sugar and carbs
• Reduce bloating
• Lose a few pounds
• Have more energy and wake up REFRESHED every day

So you look and FEEL outstanding this holiday season (and rock that hot little black dress you bought for office holiday party!)

Here’s what’s included in the Refresh:

• 5 days of done-for-you Refresh meal plans & a companion Shopping List ($199 value)
• 5 days of Shakeology ($25 value)
• Daily email support from me, your coach and cheerleader ($50 value)
• Access to an exclusive, members only, online support group ($99 value)
• PLUS a personal 50-minute Breakthrough session ($175 value)

The cost? Only $49 USD!

Ready to get started? You must register by 4 pm EST on 11/22! Click below to register!

[button url="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=KZQTVVEV239BS" target="_blank" label="Buy Now!"]

Any questions?  Email me (I promise to respond within 2 business days)

The Fine Print

• Registration closes Friday, November 15th at 5pm EST
• All purchases are final; No refunds or exchanges
• All Breakthrough Sessions must be scheduled by 4/1/2014