How often do we ask ourselves the question: can I have it all?

Our culture pushes us to work for the high-profile job, the big house, the fancy car, the happy marriage, the 2.5 kids, the golden retriever. Those things will make us happy... won’t they?

If you cut through all the bull shit, having it all can actually be really simple... at the end of the day, it’s about a shift in PERSPECTIVE, not about what you have or don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong – shifting your perspective takes work. It is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but the process is simple – there are just 4 keys to having it all.

1. Define what ‘having it all’ means to you.

Success, in work and in life, looks different for each of us. What does it look like to you? Dedicate time to answering this question.

What will having it all look like?

What will having it all feel like?

Where will you be when you have it all?

Who will be with you?

Get REALLY clear on your vision of having it all. Write it out as if you already have it and reflect on it often.

Lastly, ask yourself how your vision makes you feel? If it doesn’t get you excited, you’re not being truthful with yourself. If that’s the case, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

2. Acknowledge that there will always be give and take.

I’m pretty open about the fact that I think work life balance is bullshit – there is no such thing as balance. Priorities are in a constant state of flux.

It’s not all or nothing, but at any given moment in life, something will take priority. Be OK with that. Know that some days you’ll work late, some days you’ll need time off for family, some days you’ll be running to happy hour, and some days a romcom will be calling your name.

3. Set aside time every day to do something you love.

It is way too easy to get caught up in our to-do lists and in other people’s agendas. Set aside time, even if just 5 minutes, to do something that makes you smile. It could be as simple as savoring a delicious cup of tea or rocking out to your new favorite song. Or it could be more involved – getting lost in a good book, going for a run, getting a massage. Bottom line: treat yourself well each day.

4. And the absolute most important key to having it all: be grateful for what you have now.

Gratitude is a really amazing thing. Gratitude breeds happiness. Gratitude breeds faith – an expectation that good things fill your life and will continue to fill it each day.

Practicing gratitude helps us to realize, every day, how much we really do have – you know, all those things we all normally take for granted.

And, if by practicing gratitude, you look frequently, closely, and carefully, you’ll learn you already do have it all.