How to Create Sacred Space & Time

Life can be so hectic and overwhelming sometimes that it can be easy to lose ourselves in the shuffle.  Too often you’re feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day and you’re desperately craving an escape from it all.

But, instead of escaping to hide from the stress and chaos of the day-to-day, “mindfully escaping” on the daily – by creating sacred space & time – allows us to restore ourselves on a deeper level, even in the midst of our busy, noisy world.

You can start creating sacred space & time by following these easy steps:

1. Decide what "sacred" means to you. 

What is it that you hope to accomplish during this time?  Do you need want to quiet your mind, release the stress of your day, or feel inspired?

For me, my “sacred” time is about feeling grounded, clear (mentally, physically, and emotionally), and inspired. What feelings do you want to cultivate during this time?

2. Transform feeling into action. 

Once you've identified how you want to feel, identify what you can DO to feel that way.  It might be meditation, going for a run or a walk outside, practicing some yoga poses, some inspired reading, or simply enjoying a moment of silence.

My advice: Keep it simple.  This shouldn’t feel like just another thing that you have to do.  It should be something that you want to do.

3. Create a routine. 

We are natural creatures of habit and innately crave structure.  By squeezing your sacred space into your daily routine, it’s more likely to become a habit.  Plus, you’re sending a strong signal to yourself that YOU are a top priority.  First thing in the morning or just before bed (the “bookends” of your day) are great times to create some structure with a routine.

4. Have a contingency plan.

There are hidden moments in each day, no matter how busy we might feel.  Whether it’s on your subway commute, a few quiet moments during lunch, your daily walk to Starbucks for an afternoon latte, or the 2 minutes you spend collecting yourself before walking in the door each night, you can leverage these seemingly insignificant moments into powerful “sacred” connections.

Not every day looks the same as the last, or necessarily how we want it to, and that’s OK.  When things get hectic, be mindful of utilizing these hidden spaces and times to cultivate your sacred space. 

How will you create sacred space & time in your life?

6 Tips to Up Your Confidence at Work

In my last corporate gig, I had a manager that just didn't understand me.  He didn’t see the value that I brought to the table.   I'm a top performer and I left work every day feeling horrible about my contribution. What's worse: over-time, I started to forget what I was truly capable of.  

While I knew I had great work in me, the lack of appreciation, understanding, or support left me feeling uninspired, unproductive, and disengaged.  My confidence at work was at an all-time low.

It's in moments like these that I'm reminded that I'm the only one responsible for my happiness and the only one capable of picking myself up.  The solution had to start with me.  Upping my confidence at work created an environment where I was more highly regarded, sought out by key people for my expertise, and just downright HAPPIER at work.

If you’re ready to ooze confidence in the office every day, try these 5 simple strategies:

1.       Have a Vision

It’s hard to get what you want if you don’t know what it is.  Develop a crystal clear vision and spend a few minutes each day thinking about it – what it looks like, what if feels like once you’ve achieved it.  Spending just a few minutes each day being mindful of you vision will leave you feeling the way you want to feel today, not just after your vision is a reality.

2.       Be Prepared

One of the best tidbits of career advice I ever got was to always be prepared to run any meeting, even if it’s not yours.  Being prepared, in any situation, shows that you are organized, resourceful, and on top of your game. Nothing screams confidence like really wowing those around you.

3.       Smile

Smiling sends a very clear message to those around you: you are happy to be in their presence and you are positive and optimistic.  Smiling helps those around you feel warm and welcomed, which will help you leave any interaction feeling confident and secure.

4.       Create Opportunities to Grow

Recognize that each day is a chance to grow as a person and a professional.  What can you do today to be just a little better than you were yesterday?  The shifts don’t need to be monumental – think about the impact that a single small change every day can make over time.

5.       Build on Your Strengths

We all have things that we are naturally great at.  Seek out opportunities to use your strengths.  If an opportunity presents itself, ask for it.  Not sure what your strengths are?  Take the Top 5 Strengths Assessment to find out.

6.       Put Yourself Out There

Just because one person doesn’t see your value, doesn’t mean others don’t or won’t.  Create opportunities where you can contribute on a broader level.Seek out new projects, talk to other teams, ask questions, get involved!  Organizational hierarchies can be tricky, so be careful navigating these waters- but that’s not an excuse not to try to put yourself out there. 

This Single Daily Activity Will Change Your Life

When I hit rock bottom in my consulting career, I was miserable to be around.  All I did was bitch and complain – about inadequate management, lazy coworkers, my morning commute, crappy clients, my aching back, my messy house.  You name it, and I found a way to complain about it.Guess where all that got me?

Nowhere. 

I felt all alone.

Like there was no one in the world who could understand what I was going through.  Like I was working harder than everyone and no one appreciated ME.  Like I was the lynch pin holding it all together and that if I took a step away, the whole world would come crumbling down.

I hadn’t quite realized yet that my world was already crumbling.

There’s something really subtle here that was preventing me from “seeing the light”…

chronic stress

It wasn’t that no one was appreciating me.  IT WAS THAT I WASN’T APPRECIATING ANYONE ELSE.

By focusing on the lack and frustration in my life, I had blinders on when it came to seeing the good things around me.

Once I started to approach my day, my work, my coworkers, and my husband with gratitude, there was an instant shift.

I stopped feeling alone; I was a supported member of a team.  I realized that I wasn’t the only one effective at getting things done, but that in my blindness, I’d failed to utilize the strength in others.  All of a sudden the tightness in my back, which was likely caused by chronic stress, lessened – I felt looser and freer.

The practice of gratitude allowed me to see the world around me in a completely different way than I had previously been experiencing it.  And the world around me hadn’t really changed, but I had.

Now, I spend a few minutes each morning consciously being grateful for the opportunities that will be available to me in the day ahead – even when my mornings are hectic I find a way to get this done: in the shower, during my workout, in the car, as I’m making breakfast.   

I end my day sharing at least 3 things that I’m grateful for with my husband (usually, once the list starts, it expands way beyond just 3 things).  This has been a really beautiful thing for us to do together and has strengthened our relationship in unmeasurable ways.  Who can you share your gratitude with?

Now, it’s your turn. 

TAKE INSPIRED ACTION: How can you consciously practice gratitude every day?

Do You Invest In Yourself?

My laptop gives me the blue screen of death 3 times a day, which is pretty terrible when you run an online business.

I’ve been talking about investing in a new laptop for a few months, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger, claiming I “didn’t have the money right now.”

Meanwhile, I had almost no problem dropping $200 to take my husband out to a celebratory sushi dinner.

Isn’t that so ass-backwards?  I mean, I should be the first person investing in ME.

Well, after a planning session with one of my coaches and mentors, I finally got over my laptop investment hurdle and got a new one. 

Here’s the thing: I needed permission to invest in myself.  I needed someone else to validate that I was worth it.

How silly is that?

And this problem isn’t unique to me... by a long shot. 

I talk to smart and successful women all the time who tell me they want or, more commonly, NEED to do something to improve their current circumstances, but they “can’t afford it/can’t take time off work/can’t leave their job/don’t have time/can’t <fill in the blank>”.

As a woman, it’s frustrating to see.  But I GET IT because I do it, too.

What will it take for us to realize that we’re worth it?  That investing in ourselves is the only real way to move closer to our dreams?  That we non-challantly waste our time and money on things that don’t serve us instead of going after what we really want?

As I thought about this, the engineer in me came out to play, looking for a step-by-step solution.  And, sure enough, one exists.   Here are the four questions you need to answer to move from avoidance to action when it comes to your own self worth.

What do you need in your life to take it to the next level?

(i.e. What kind of investment do you need to make?)

Let me be clear: this investment does not have to be financial.  It might be an investment of time, love, or energy.

For me, it was a silly thing like buying a laptop.  For you, maybe it’s a vacation, time with a coach to get clear on what you need, or an afternoon with girlfriends, cocktails, and Lifetime movies.

What’s your relationship with money?

Let’s make something very clear: We all have money issues.  Most of them stem from how we were raised and our earliest money memories, but not all.

Do you think money is hard to get?

Do you think you need to save it?

Do you think it’s fleeting?

Do you feel like you’ll never have enough?

Do you need to work hard to earn money? 

Does it come easily to you?

Clearing these out of your system isn’t an easy process and I’m not going to delve into how to do that here (it really deserves it’s on post or series).  For now, I just want you to be aware of what limiting money beliefs exist for you.

What needs to happen for you to make the leap?

For me, I needed permission (and permission from someone who is only a peripheral in my life might I add).  If that’s you, too, I give you permission to jump. 

But it might also be something totally different for you. 

Maybe it’s a phone call with a close friend.  Or your mom.  Or both. 

Maybe it’s checking your credit card balance. 

It might be reading an affirmation before you start your day for a week. 

It might be saying a prayer. 

It could be anything.  Get super, crystal clear on what it is. 

When will you do what needs to happen? 

In coach-speak, what’s your next logical step?

Once you identify what it is, I want you to write out a clear statement on when you will do that thing.  Remember, you’re not committing to your actual investment, just the thing that will get you there.

Now, I want to hear from you.  Do you struggle to invest in yourself?  What’s one key thing you took away from this post that you will implement immediately?

4 Keys to Having It All

How often do we ask ourselves the question: can I have it all?

Our culture pushes us to work for the high-profile job, the big house, the fancy car, the happy marriage, the 2.5 kids, the golden retriever.  Those things will make us happy... won’t they?

having it all

If you cut through all the bull shit, having it all can actually be really simple... at the end of the day, it’s about a shift in PERSPECTIVE, not about what you have or don’t have.

Don’t get me wrong – shifting your perspective takes work.  It is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, but the process is simple – there are just 4 keys to having it all.

1. Define what ‘having it all’ means to you. 

Success, in work and in life, looks different for each of us.  What does it look like to you?  Dedicate time to answering this question. 

What will having it all look like? 

What will having it all feel like? 

Where will you be when you have it all? 

Who will be with you? 

Get REALLY clear on your vision of having it all.  Write it out as if you already have it and reflect on it often.  

Lastly, ask yourself how your vision makes you feel?  If it doesn’t get you excited, you’re not being truthful with yourself.  If that’s the case, it’s time to go back to the drawing board.

2. Acknowledge that there will always be give and take. 

I’m pretty open about the fact that I think work life balance is bullshit – there is no such thing as balance.  Priorities are in a constant state of flux. 

It’s not all or nothing, but at any given moment in life, something will take priority.  Be OK with that.  Know that some days you’ll work late, some days you’ll need time off for family, some days you’ll be running to happy hour, and some days a romcom will be calling your name. 

3. Set aside time every day to do something you love. 

It is way too easy to get caught up in our to-do lists and in other people’s agendas.  Set aside time, even if just 5 minutes, to do something that makes you smile.  It could be as simple as savoring a delicious cup of tea or rocking out to your new favorite song.  Or it could be more involved – getting lost in a good book, going for a run, getting a massage.  Bottom line: treat yourself well each day.

make you happy

4. And the absolute most important key to having it all: be grateful for what you have now.

Gratitude is a really amazing thing.  Gratitude breeds happiness.  Gratitude breeds faith – an expectation that good things fill your life and will continue to fill it each day. 

Practicing gratitude helps us to realize, every day, how much we really do have – you know, all those things we all normally take for granted.

And, if by practicing gratitude, you look frequently, closely, and carefully, you’ll learn you already do have it all.

Feeling Dominated by Your To-Do List? Try this.

I just spent the last 20 minutes STARING at my to-do list. Ever do that?  Like, maybe if I stare long enough, it will just magically get done!  (seriously, if anyone knows how to do that, TELL ME!)

Unfortunately, to-do lists don’t just magically DO themselves, although mine tend to have a habit of growing exponentially all on their own.

If you’re feeling dominated by your To-Do list right now, try this super simple interval time management trick:

1. Identify a single task or group of related tasks. 
2. Set a timer (should be visible at all times) for 25 minutes and work on the identified task(s) until the time is up. 
3. When the timer goes off, STOP.  No matter where you are at in the process, stop immediately at 25 minutes and take a 3-5 minute break doing something else completely.
4. After completing 4 intervals (2 hours), take a longer break of 15-20 minutes. 
5. Use as many intervals as necessary to complete the task at hand.  When you’re done, move on to the next task.

Here are some quick tips to master this trick:

• Try not to get distracted.  If you suddenly remember items that need to be completed, add them to your to-do list, and continue on with the pomodoro. 
• If an item ABSOLUTELY must be completed immediately, scrap your current interval and complete the necessary item.  Start over again with a full interval. 
• The 25-minute interval is not divisible, meaning you can’t have a half or a quarter; when you use an interval you use the whole thing – no partials allowed.
• If you finish an activity before the timer is up, use your extra time to review your work and your efficiency.

Whenever I’m feeling “whelmed”, I whip out my timer, set it for 25 minutes and GET SHIT DONE.  It’s just so darn easy and effective, and it can be applied to pretty much any task, no matter how big or small. 

The 25-minute interval with 3-5 minute breaks has proven to be a really effective time interval for me – its enough time to make solid progress on an activity, but the break time allows for handling distractions and re-grouping, as needed.

In the comments, share your interval time management success!

What's Your Mission? Keys to Crafting Your Personal Mission Statement

Last week I talked about what to do when you wake up totally dreading the day.  Fueling your body right, getting plenty of sleep, surrounding yourself with good, supportive people... all that will absolutely help your cause. But what happens when you feel totally disconnected from your job?  What if you feel like you’re not making a contribution?  What then????

Insert the personal mission statement.

Companies have mission statements; have you ever considered creating one for yourself?

A personal mission statement will help you:

• Focus on the positive aspects of your work;
• Contribute to work that aligns with your values; and,
• Course-correct when things are out of whack.

When crafting your personal mission statement, the goal is to answer the following questions directly and concisely:

• What do I want to do?
• Who do I want to help?
• What is the result? What value will I create?

So how do you get started developing your personal mission statement?  Start by answering these questions:

1. What activities make you lose track of time?
2. What makes you feel great about yourself?
3. Who inspires you most? (Anyone you know or do not know. Family, friends, authors, artists, leaders, etc.) Which qualities inspire you, in each person?
4. What comes easily to you?  What are you amazing at?
5. When do you feel powerful, passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited, inspired?
6. What would you like to STOP doing?
7. How would you like to be seen, recognized, acknowledged, awarded, praised?
8. What do people typically ask you for help with?  What do people thank you for?
9. If you had to teach something, what would you teach?
10. What are your biggest past successes (work, home, personal, etc.)?  Is there a common theme (or themes)?  If so, write them down.
11. What causes do you strongly believe in? Connect with?
12. If you could get a message across to a large group of people. Who would those people be? What would your message be?

Read through your answers from above.  Do you notice any common themes?  Combine your answers to the above questions to craft an overarching personal mission statement (1-3 sentences is ideal).

TAKE INSPIRED ACTION:

This week, develop your personal mission statement and take action on at least one of the following:

1. What three actions can you take this week to nurture your true strengths and live your mission?
2. What three things will you stop doing this week to live in alignment with your mission?
3. Who can support you in living your mission?  Identify your “starters”.