The Cost of Being Constantly Connected

“Being connected in a shallow way to the entire world can prevent us from being deeply connected to those closest to us – including ourselves.” –Arianna Huffington

Let’s talk stats (because numbers are kinda my thing):

• On average, people spend 2 hours per day (a whopping 8% of their day) on their cell phones. • 67% of cell owners find themselves checking their phone for messages, alerts, or calls — even when they don’t notice their phone ringing or vibrating. • 44% of cell owners have slept with their phone next to their bed because they wanted to make sure they didn’t miss any calls, text messages, or other updates during the night. • 29% of cell owners describe their cell phone as “something they can’t imagine living without.”

(Source: PewResearch)

Do you fall into any of these categories?

I’ll be honest… I do. I definitely couldn’t live without my cell phone and I’ve been known to obsessively check for updates (sometimes for more than 2 hours a day…).

I’ve recently gotten to thinking (inspired by Arianna Huffington’s Thrive and my own personal experiments in escaping) about what my hyperconnected lifestyle is costing me.

I’ve been missing out on special moments with my husband, time spent being present and REALLY HEARING friends and family, and a more mindful connection to my body and my higher purpose.

What’s it costing you?

When I really started to dig deep into this issue, I realized how completely unnecessary it was. I mean, 15 years ago Zach Morris was just about the only person I knew with a cell phone. People DID live without them. Could I?

Yes, yes I can.

I’ve recently proclaimed Saturday my cell phone sabbatical – it’s incredible how liberating a day of digital detox can be! I’ve been asked how I do it… Here’s my Saturday protocol (+ a few other tips for disconnecting):

• Keep it simple (& temptation free): I let my phone battery dip to zero on Friday night before bed (or overnight if necessary) and I wait to charge it until bedtime on Saturday night. • If it’ll ease your mind, set up an in case of emergency plan with close friends & family. Let them know where and how they can reach you ahead of time (it’ll help to define what an emergency is, too!). • Make plans (get directions, show times, make reservations) ahead of time OR just fly by the seat of your pants – because why not?!?!? • If you sleep with your phone by your bed to use its alarm (like me), set that baby on airplane mode for the night. You’ll protect your dome from wacky radiowaves (if you believe in that type of thing) and you won’t disturb your beauty rest. • Start your day without your phone – that means NOT checking email or Facebook as soon as you wake up. Set a time when checking in is OK.

Do you struggling with unplugging? What have you found that helps you?

How to Create Sacred Space & Time

Life can be so hectic and overwhelming sometimes that it can be easy to lose ourselves in the shuffle.  Too often you’re feeling like there just aren’t enough hours in the day and you’re desperately craving an escape from it all.

But, instead of escaping to hide from the stress and chaos of the day-to-day, “mindfully escaping” on the daily – by creating sacred space & time – allows us to restore ourselves on a deeper level, even in the midst of our busy, noisy world.

You can start creating sacred space & time by following these easy steps:

1. Decide what "sacred" means to you. 

What is it that you hope to accomplish during this time?  Do you need want to quiet your mind, release the stress of your day, or feel inspired?

For me, my “sacred” time is about feeling grounded, clear (mentally, physically, and emotionally), and inspired. What feelings do you want to cultivate during this time?

2. Transform feeling into action. 

Once you've identified how you want to feel, identify what you can DO to feel that way.  It might be meditation, going for a run or a walk outside, practicing some yoga poses, some inspired reading, or simply enjoying a moment of silence.

My advice: Keep it simple.  This shouldn’t feel like just another thing that you have to do.  It should be something that you want to do.

3. Create a routine. 

We are natural creatures of habit and innately crave structure.  By squeezing your sacred space into your daily routine, it’s more likely to become a habit.  Plus, you’re sending a strong signal to yourself that YOU are a top priority.  First thing in the morning or just before bed (the “bookends” of your day) are great times to create some structure with a routine.

4. Have a contingency plan.

There are hidden moments in each day, no matter how busy we might feel.  Whether it’s on your subway commute, a few quiet moments during lunch, your daily walk to Starbucks for an afternoon latte, or the 2 minutes you spend collecting yourself before walking in the door each night, you can leverage these seemingly insignificant moments into powerful “sacred” connections.

Not every day looks the same as the last, or necessarily how we want it to, and that’s OK.  When things get hectic, be mindful of utilizing these hidden spaces and times to cultivate your sacred space. 

How will you create sacred space & time in your life?

10 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself after a Stressful Day

Whether it’s a demanding boss, a looming deadline, a big presentation, or a challenging client, stressful days happen. 

In the midst of a total burnout, I left the office stressed to the max every day and learned the hard way that the worst thing you can do is to take it home with you. 

Stress is like a black mold; it’ll spread to every aspect of your life if you let it.  Stress nearly destroyed my relationship; my husband hated coming home to me and worked late so he didn’t have to.  It devastated my health.  I put on weight and was embarrassed by my body.  I used alcohol as an escape instead of dealing with my problems.  I used caffeine to fight the fatigue I felt all day, but that just kept me up all night.

It took me years to fix what chronic stress did to my life.

Let’s be honest: no matter how positive or present you are, stress is sometimes unavoidable.  Fortunately, it is possible to leave a stressful day at the door.  Use a bad day as a catalyst to be kind to yourself.These ten tips for self-care offer simple ways to flip the stress switch off. 

1. Practice Gratitude

First things first: flipping the stress switch off starts with a mindset shift.  It can be easy to focus on the things that went wrong.  Shift your perspective by spending a few minutes being grateful for the good things that happened during the day. 

2. Get Moving

Exercise has been shown to alleviate stress by releasing mood-boosting endorphins, but that doesn’t mean you have to spend hours at the gym after a long day.  Go for a quick walk around your neighborhood, string together a series of sun salutations, or throw an impromptu dance party in your living room.

3. Take a Shot

A wheatgrass shot, that is.  Stress – even acute stress – can create an acidic pH in the body, which leads to insomnia, fatigue, nervousness and anxiety.  To fight the acidity, take a shot of wheatgrass.  Not only is wheatgrass alkalizing to the body, its full of vitamins and minerals that help fight free radicals, it detoxifies the liver and blood stream, and it promotes healing of cells in the body.  Grab a shot at a local juice bar on the way home or keep powdered wheat grass on hand for easy access.

4. Order Take-out

What?  A health coach encouraging you to order take out?  Look- you’ve had a long day… the last thing you need is adding the stress of cooking and cleaning to the mix.  Just stick with real, whole foods – like a yummy seasonal salad (dressing on the side), vegetable curry, a burrito (hold the cheese and sour cream), or steamed veggies with rice. 

5. Enjoy a Glass of Wine

Alcohol is naturally soothing and can help you sleep.  Wine, especially red wine, has added health benefits of reducing your risk of heart attack, heart disease, stroke, cancer, cataracts, and type II diabetes, promoting brain health, and helping you live longer.  But, take everything in moderation – enjoy a single glass of wine at dinner.

6. Have a Treat

Sugary treats will only leave you feeling worse in the long term, but if you want a little after dinner treat, nibble on a piece of antioxidant rich dark chocolate.  Look for something with a high cacao content (70% or higher) to fight free radicals and oxidative stress. 

7. Unplug Before Bed

Stress often leaves us “tired but wired” – zapped of energy, but unable to sleep.  Add artificial light from TV and computer screens to the mix and the problem only gets worse; screen lights impact melatonin production and throw off circadian rhythms, preventing deep, restorative sleep. To ensure a good night’s rest, spend at least 1 hour before bed unplugged.

8. Sweat It Out

Stress can be toxic, but a 20-minute detox bath can be enough to start cleansing the body.  Add 5-10 drops of your favorite essential oil, 2 cups of Epsom salts, and 1 cup of baking soda to a hot bath (you want it hot enough to make you to sweat!).

9. Do An Inversion

Spending a few minutes in shoulder stand or with legs up the wall can do wonders for releasing stress.  Not only do inversions offer a change in perspective, they also reverse the effects of gravity on your body by improving circulation and lymph flow and bringing blood and oxygen to the brain.

10. Set an Intention

Don’t let a stressful day set the tone of the rest of your week.  Consciously set an intention that will create ease and grace in your life tomorrow and every day after.

5 Things You Have to Do This Holiday Weekend

It’s here... Memorial Day: the unofficial kickoff to summer! In celebration of all things summer – HEAT, dresses, salty hair, flip flops, beaches, BBQS, camping, vacations, farmer’s markets, and fireworks (just a few of my favorite things), let’s all agree to savor every second of this 3-day weekend.  Here’s the 5 things on my must-do list this weekend – what’s on yours?

1. Sleep In

The older I get, the less sleeping in on the weekend feels like a given and the more it feels like a luxury.  I plan on spending at least one morning this weekend cuddled up with my husband and kitties, listening to the sounds of my neighborhood as it wakes up, and having a super relaxing start to the day.

2. Disconnect

Lately, I’ve been making a conscious effort to put my phone down and connect with people in real life more.  This weekend, I’m really going to challenge myself by turning my phone off for a full 24-hours.

enjoy people

3. Get Outside

Living in a city, it can be easy to feel trapped in the “concrete jungle”, but I’m thankful to live in a city with a robust park system (seriously, did you know Philadelphia has the largest landscaped park in the US?).    I’m not sure I’ll be able to escape to the mountains this weekend, but I’ll definitely be enjoying some of the amazing outdoor spaces Philly has to offer – whether Fairmount Park or the riverfront. 

4. Try Something New

While I consider myself pretty risk-averse, I love an adventure.  I love trying new things… in a safe space.  I’m not sure what I’ll do yet, but I plan on getting out of my comfort zone and doing something I’ve never done before.

5. Cook a Delicious Meal

I’ll be honest… these days I rarely have time to cook a fancy meal.  Dinner’s are usually grilled fish and steamed vegetables, but this week I’ll be cracking open some of my favorite cookbooks and experimenting in my kitchen and on my grill.

cook at home

No matter what you're up to, have a great time and enjoy some well-earned time off!  xo.

Is it OK to be lazy?

As a culture, we’re a bunch of overachievers.  We make things happen... and we make things happen fast.  There’s lots of going, doing, being and more, more, MORE.There’s not a whole lot of lazy.

As a go-getter, being lazy is something I struggle with a lot.  Being lazy feels...well... lazy.  It feels bad.  I feel like I should ALWAYS be doing something. 

I often ask myself: Is it OK to be lazy?

Lazy can be great and healthy and goal-affirming if it’s done correctly.

When I was totally burnt out from my job in consulting, I’d spend entire weekends immobilized on my couch because I was too mentally and physically exhausted to do anything else.  This is the BAD side of lazy.  There’s no joy in that.

So, what’s the difference between good lazy and bad lazy?

Good lazy is done with intention.  It’s taking a leisurely walk.  Savoring coffee with a friend.  A well thought out movie marathon.  Spending an afternoon reading a good book.

is it okay to be lazy

Bad lazy is done out of helplessness and exhaustion. When your head is telling you that you need to be doing something productive, but your heart is telling you to chill the f out, that’s bad lazy.   The argument between the head and the heart actually leads to more stress.  And nobody needs that.

Bad lazy is non-stop bad reality TV benders.  It’s getting lost down the Buzzfeed rabbit hole.  It’s ordering takeout for 5 days in a row because your kitchen’s a mess and you don’t want to clean it.

So, how do we do more good and less bad lazy?

Remember, the distinction is all about INTENTION.  First, give yourself the permission to be lazy.  Then, use this handy fill-in-the-blank affirmation:

Today, I am going to fully enjoy   ________________________ because it makes me feel _________________________________  (think: at ease, joyful, relaxed, etc.). 

Declare it out loud – hearing your own voice say it will be affirming and will make it more real for you.

Are you like me – is lazy sometimes a struggle?  Share your thoughts on being lazy in the comments.

Take a Vacation Without Going Anywhere

It’s the Fourth of July – a day when most of us get the opportunity to kick back, relax, and celebrate our independence. This got me thinking... about independence, about vacations, and about giving ourselves a BREAK.

take a vacation alaska cruise

Did you know that a 2012 report commissioned by Expedia.com indicates that most employees take even LESS time off than they are allotted through their company?   Worse still, 28% of those polled said they didn’t take vacation for work-related reasons.  And for those lucky ones who actually did get some time off?  34% of them reported checking work email regularly or constantly while on vacation (note: I have definitely been one of the 34%).

Now, don’t get me wrong, I am ALL for having a career you love and putting your best feet forward, but you have to balance hard work with downtime.  Your body needs time to recuperate, regenerate, and refresh in order for you to be the best employee possible. 

take a vacation sunset beach philippines

Let’s think about this another way.  In ten years, will your company say, “Wow, we’re so happy Ms. X didn’t take that weeklong vacation to Peru.  This place would have just CRUMBLED.”  Nope, they won’t.But in ten years, you’ll say “I wish I’d taken that trip to Peru when I’d had the chance.”  You never know what obligations you’ll have THEN.

That all being said, maybe you just can’t take a real vacation this year.  That’s OK. 

VACATION IS A STATE OF MIND.

You can take a vacation any where, any time. 

Here are three suggestions for taking a vacation without (really) going anywhere.

Take a Media Break

We are all absolutely BOMBARDED every hour of every day with information – whether from TV, radio, online news sources, or social media – it can be hard to escape.  I challenge you to UNPLUG for just ONE DAY.  It’s amazing how relaxed you’ll feel.

Be a Tourist in Your Own Town

Whether you live in the big city or a small town, chances are there are parts of your area that you’ve never seen.  Spend a day exploring where you live.

This could mean hiking a new trail, walking through a new neighborhood, going on a guided tour, or checking out a new restaurant.  Notice that keyword ‘new’ here – the trick is to do something DIFFERENT than you normally do.

Give Yourself the Spa Treatment

 Can’t afford a fancy spa weekend?  Instead, spread out spa-like appointments over the course of a week.

Go to a yoga class on Monday, get a mani/pedi on Tuesday, get your hair done on Wednesday, visit a juice bar on Thursday, and treat yourself to a massage on Friday.  Enjoy the spa aspect of each day for what each individually gives to you.  If even this is a stretch for you, take just a couple hours at home and give yourself the spa treatment there.  Take a bubble bath, paint your toes, put on a face mask – whatever it is you enjoy doing... Just do it.

I, myself, won’t have the opportunity to take a ‘real’ vacation this year, but I will definitely be implementing all three of these strategies to take me to that vacation mindset. 

What about you?  What can you do to enjoy a vacation without going anywhere?  Leave your thoughts in the comments.